The first thing we were told was a regularly scheduled spanking, and maintenance spanking, was needed, and it should be daily in the beginning. Do you have any children? You are free to live this lifestyle. 1986)., Yeah, it even helps to read an interlinear every now and then and do a bit of Greek/Hebrew study. The wife-beater will remember our image before he raises his hand to punch his wife, not after he is jailed. His mother had passed away long ago and his father died shortly after our wedding and I never got to talk to him much. I dont remember a bible verse where Jesus said I had to be (bad word) against my will. I got spanked as a child and so did my brother and we turned out great! For anything can be labelled an abuse with this method. Building an adult-adult relationship with parents is a difficult transition, but it can be done. I am sorry. Other times, I will be simply told that there is a new rule or that I am forbidden to do something. Did Lauren and her husband have any connections withthe Patriarchy Movement? So anyway, of course God gives our husband and other authority persons who have our husbands permission to punish us. Often, when we face tough decisions, I will offer input and SUGGESTIONS. I cant support you in that. He blathered on in his books or blogs about how men should be heroic and defend women and girls like the men who gave up their seats on the Titanic, but he was sexually assaulting a teen-aged girl for years, and stalking her! Abusing men need to be taken to task (no, I dont know how, and in some cases they just never will be) but the fact of their existence does not mean God was wrong to say that the man is the head of the wife and that he shall rule over thee. Sorry, have not read anything here yet! Say for example, they are asked to bring another into the relationship/marriage bed, or commit a crime, because I have heard that from women. And no, the experiences, however bad, do not nullify the word of God. But that pastor I am speaking about, if she is worth her salt, will speak better words than me. (LogOut/ Christian Domestic Discipline The second thing we were asked was for Ben to spank me in front of Pastor and his wife. Even if I were to make a pledge, my father would have nothing to do with it. I suggested you start with an interlinear to see how the Greek is worded just for starters but I keep forgetting you need phallic permission. At least thats his justification but this is far far more severe than spankings. Im over 40 years of age and in charge of my own life. It mush be nice to be self righteous dont you think. Does that make bullying okay? And being insulting doesnt either. Lone Voice said. When we got there he told me that he was fed up with the way I was behaving and I was going to be punished right then. Male headship is followed all over the world. Christian Domestic Discipline (Wife Spanking You need to be more Christ-like, Jesus never told a woman that she had to be subject to any man, have sex with her husband against her will. It is only going to increase as people go frustrated by the negative effects of domestic ideology on their happiness and increasingly get to the point of questioning everything. This is just like disciplining kids, just discipline. Webchristian domestic discipline; Corset Waist Training; Deep Thoughts; Exercise and Chocolate; Fiction; maintenance; marriage; my submissiveness; Orgasm Control; Pierced Nipples; Punishment; Spanking; Submission; swingers Now, some Christian ladies are happy to accept the term feminism and apply it to themselves, so long as it is defined as something like the belief that women are equal to men and should be treated with respect by all. He waits not for the tears to start, but for a repenting, submissive cry, and spanks me even after this. Oh, come on, JA; Daisy of course speaks for all of us, which is why Daisy debates many of us, I believe myself included. It seems like my husbands leadership skills have developed so strongly. For instance, those who practice domestic discipline often cite scripture that calls for wives to submit to their husbands. Why are women in a similar, and even more benign relationship seen as victims, non-free agents, and not capable of the free thought it might take to walk out the door? Julie Anne, your visitors are in the main grindingly politically correct and feminist and you are the chief, so much so that you cannot see that the Junia site, advocating for the inclusion of women in leadership in the Christian church and for mutuality in marriage is not the slightest bit feminist and flying in the face of scripture (starting with Genesis 2:18 and 3:16 funny how many great verses in the Bible are 3:16, isnt it? Young boys in these homes will likely learn this behavior of entitlement over women and repeat it. Ok, so this is more widespread than I suspected if its crossing over into charismatic churches. Thats their thing. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. . I think I would be OK with that, especially if anonymous. Christianity is about inspiring free hearts, not forcing them with laws. I cant remember if you said how long you were married. Really, if you get off on spanking your wife (or are a wife who gets off on being spanked by her man), just chalk it up to your personal choice and stop trying to find biblical proof texts for it. I do not agree with your philosophies and fixes, but I feel no drive or desire to label you as mentally sick. The truth is that I rarely disagree with household or DD decisions that he makes. Our opinions dont matter when our husbands spanks us. Each jurisdiction has its own laws and its own policies for how law enforcement deal with domestic abuse. (Daisy, it is my hope and prayer, by the way, that in the cases I disagree with you, I do so without being disagreeableblessings to you, and my apologies for when I fail in this). Thankfully my friend helped me move and helped me get set up and even helped me secure a job. Now no one complains to the Pastor at Bible school anymore I can tell you. I was sexually terrorized as a little girl by a bible loving, bible verse quoting, church going southern Baptist Christian man as a little girl. I dont think I have the right to question how my husband corrects me. Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. How come society thinks women arent bright enough to dial 911? Watts' first-hand experience of Fundamentalist Christian male dominance is pretty sobering. For anyone wanting many more articles, and explanations, and rebuttals to the sexist views My sister and brother continue to suffer as a result. Mark 11:26 But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. I am in my early 30s and this past 4th of July I was there and we had a bit of an argument. Only to find out that my husband has talked to my father about this lifestyle and has his blessing. My reaction then was much like most women and like the worlds view of submission. (I dont have much time or interest right now to go through and read all comments left to me since I last was here, or comment on them all.) Sgt. I started going to their church and before long was a very active member. Church youth group leaders would tell young ladies that modest is hottest and make it clear that exposing any kind of skin somehow made a woman loose or of a certain kind. My parents had total veto power over what I could wear. If you are given instructions, do you follow them? Thanks, Gary. couples are a mess, for all the talk women abuse is nowhere close to being fixed but now masculinity is also in a crisis. Pat Robertson talks about moving to Saudi Arabia, so that makes me want to tell Lauren to move to Canada. [redacted] mentioned a previous domestic violence incident that was reported by [redacted] on 06/01/2011, at approximately 2302 hours. Anyway. My father made us go to church three times a week, and he read us the bible every night. Jenna's Christian Domestic Discipline Marriage Julie Anne, like Daisy, you too are filtering the Bible through experiences as well as using a logical non-sequiter. What does that actually mean? But it gets even worse. Its been my observation, at least as Ive observed it in my family, that my of the problems between my parents and between my sister and brother-in-law come when my mom and sister have pushed all of the wrong buttons. I know for a long time I did not consider myself a battered or abused wife. There you will get a bit more info why I believe this is biblical. In the case you need to discipline your wife while on a voyage, you know you can do so without attracting attention. There is plenty of information out there, why dont you do your research instead of spreading intolerance and hatry. And do you realize that labelling people as abusers is a very serious and insulting thing to do ? If you are truly interested in learning more about that folly, there are plenty of websites and blogs and practicers on the internet. Our marriage is energized. Out of our wounds flow compassion, understanding, & grace. We have six wives and 8 unmarried women including our daughters in the class. Except the exegeises you have been taught, does contradict. You think you are just but you are what the Bible calls a mocker. Then look up, Gods Original Plan for Marital Roles: Very interested in the resources available to wives repeatedly forced to accept this unspeakable treatment. I can see from your posts that you have major issues with men, but please dont filter the Bible through your own experiences. Always portraying women as feeble-minded helpless victims is the worst kind of infantilization. Beautiful Surrender: 13 Godly Christian Wives Im about the only one here who actually quotes scripture. I wouldnt say the link I gave was to a feminist site so much as it is a Christian egalitarian site, the two not being the same thing. Classical Conversations #7: Business or a Non-Profit; Cult or a Christian HomeschoolGroup? Instead, they wanted to know what I had done wrong to need to be punished and felt that I had abandoned my wedding vows when I left him. And you just assume I am a man because it never enters your intolerant head that a woman could actually want to put herself under her husbands headship. Calling it just a spanking in some ways covers up what is going on, I think. However, this is nothing more than intolerance even if you think you mean well. 1Pet 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Before we left he decided he had had enough and took me to our room and spanked me. You put it out there for me to read about, and Ill say something about it. It is almost enough to make me hope that the doctrine of eternal conscious punishment is true, at least for some whose evil actions in this life are especially egregious. Well, thats their altar. I would like to give a example: The husband asked the wife to wash the dishes she said tomorrow that resulted in a spanking. Youve really got to be ok with the idea that people may live a life that you feel totally unacceptable for yourself if they freely consent to live that life. Its the word of God:. Dont just believe what an individual survivor tells you: though survivors have much wisdom based on their own experiences, their own experiences may not be generalisable to others completely, and this applies ESPECIALLY in regards to legal options. We need to be aware of the existence of this atrocity in our churches and be bold in calling it out when we see it. Did you find someone to share with? Daisy: I dont have issues with men. Then in your next paragraph: Men are not the loving protectors that some claim that they should be Er 1 Peter 3:7. Like when my HOH was contemplating experimenting with our maintenance schedule. Is that bad now too? Thats a rule for ancient Israel, for young women still living at home with their fathers. JULY 1, 2015 @ 8:50 AM Jamin was holding up his left hand and motioning his right hand into his left hand as he explained [redacted] actions. Here are some tidbits of the arrest report: [redacted] told me Jamin has a couple of different hunting rifles, a couple of shot guns, a Glock pistol and another silver pistol. Not a single male rose to my defense. Im just so pleased to know that you were able to break free. Im only part way through the rather long article, which was suggested by Lydia, but from what I have read so far, I can suggest that http://www.nacr.org/wordpress/160/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations might be worth a look see. No, you didnt misinterpret Mark 11, but I suspect you misapplied it. Here is a tasty quote AGAINST wife-spanking: Jim Alsdurf, a forensic psychologist who evaluates and treats sexual psychopaths and is the author of a book on abuse in Christian homes, says CDD isnt about religionits an outlet for emotionally disturbed men with intimacy deficits. This subject makes me sick. This is the right relationship for people to live in my opinion. These three core values are essential: Communication, Consent, & Compassion. Im wondering what their thoughts were on it? Those who advocate domestic discipline do so on the basis of several passages taken out of context and wildly interpreted. At the very least, the reality is miles away from what you are trying to make it, please do your research. its the samething a guy who punched his wife in the face would say. It really is that good. It never occurred to me to suppose that 100pinkapples might not be a Christian. But I do not want a day when people wake up confused because women rights have been flushed down the toilets. I have a lot of respect for your father, and husband. I know this is true. But just like a chocolate addict will eat carob in moments of dire necessity. We met through church but I dont know what his family background was. I think your preference is sick, deranged, weird, and a whole bunch of other negative stuff. Jesus said to the Pharisees, Christian Domestic Discipline ), (Cherry picking or distorting verses such as _1 Tim 2.12_ and keep tossing them my way does not count. Domestic And I expect I was twisting or misinterpreting scripture with the Mark 11 quote, wasnt I? It seems that site is promoting equal rights for women. Then, they sign this document in the presence of lawyers, and witnesses (friends and/or parents of the woman). I knew at seventeen that I would rather be dead than married to a Christian man. Your desire to lord authority over your wife and get off on that and doing kinky acts in the bedroom is your personal preference, it is not biblical. I can see from your posts that you have major issues with men, but please dont filter the Bible through your own experiences. We were (and still are) a very young couple and both of our families had faith in our relationship. How about at your own home growing up, was your mother spanked? The thing is I never felt threatened. Just utterly powerless. They have since been removed from YouTube. Its heartbreaking to read your accounts both here and elsewhere and if you were not in a rage it would be nothing short of miraculous. In the Garden, the serpent went over the woman, she went over her husband, and he went over God. After a while I learned that this was really Gods plan for the household and wanted it for myself when I was married. Nor, based on his presentation here, did it ever occur to me to just assume that Lone Voice is a Christian. We left and started the long drive to my parents house and after about an hour I started again. But he is a wonderful, loving husband and father, a great provider and well, being in charge just suits him. Wacky science isnt fooling anyone, even if people are not always able to verbalize it, they feel within themselves that something is wrong and this autism makes them explode at some point. In the case you need to discipline your wife while on a voyage, you know you can do so without attracting attention. Under our Resources tab at A Cry For Justice we have a page with links for Hotlines: If adults have the right to spank those who disagree with them, well, I shudder to think of all the spank-fests thatd happen on every count; in every church meeting, every work-place. As for other men, besides the father to spank her, that isnt right. The modesty issue and him not wanting you to get any kind of lingerie shows a real distorted view of sexuality. So let me ask you a question. Er . God used women for a purpose, His purposes. You have decided that you are better than everybody, however humility and open-mindness are the beginning of knowledge. Send in your testimonials! In fact, if such anger is not expressed, it must be suppressedonly to come out sidewise at some unexpected time. The Bible says that husbands are to submit to their wives, Eph 5:21: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. No woman is squelched by wanting her man to take up his God-given authority and actually lead. And like you, I really enjoy being described as a feministit means a ton of different things, but generally its not something I get accused of, either. Even when we get punished when we think we didnt do anything wrong we cant be disobedient. How? Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. When a young woman still living in her fathers household makes a vow to the Lord or obligates herself by a pledge They are not like traditional couples who improvise a relationship and work it out on the go. Just compare the divorce rates in 1960 with those of today. This practice is about two consenting adults who are free to leave the relationship at any time, period. I think you are exactly right. Keep asking, keeping phoning, keep knocking on doors. We are touching, hugging, playfully spanking, and making more love than ever before. We need to consider the importance of thecorrelation ofspanking of children through adulthoodand also the transfer of headshipfrom father to new husband when a young lady gets married. That jerk exploited me financially and was a self absorbed loser who took no interest in me or my career: he made the entire relationship about him and getting his needs met and didnt care about meeting my needs. Or were they connected with teachings similar to an article I wrote, Wife Undermines Her Husbands Authority in Front of Children, He DisciplinesHer? Please, please, JA and Serving, do not receive this comment as condemnation, or even as criticism. As 100pinkapples said earlier, I am sure I have heard worse than whatever he comes up with. Many of us have heard worse. You already have biblical examples of women leading and preaching men such as Deobrah in the OT, Junia the Apostle, etc. No wife who has ever been spanked by her husband submitted out of fear? When I asked abut their secret, the answer was usually a giggle and, You should take the class on preparing your self to be a Godly wife. When I took the class that is where the concept of a CDD relationship came from. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes. (Proverbs 26:4-5 ESV). I got spanked at home until I left to be with my ex when I was 21. - Not sure whether you can hear me in the doghouse (or if youre even hanging around anymore), but Id like to offer some insight as to why you might have ended up there. But you dont know whether shes a Christian. My husband is in seminary to be a music minister and I noticed that he doesnt spank me like he used to. Carrie, what conclusion did Pat Robertson come up with to help this husband? WebThen I went to college and met my husband James, and became a Christian. Im very grateful to Lauren for her e-mailand being willing to shed more light into this abusive practice so that we can have more understanding of what she and many others are going through. I agree with you also but I dont agree on what some people say about pastors Spanking other peoples wives and brothers Spanking their sisters and son spanking their mothers I mean that just Blows my mind away right there I think if its between a husband and his wife only then whatever floats their boat more power to them, Ruth, how old are you? _Deborah and the no available men argument_. Our families, and some of our friends think we are nuts, me mostly, for living this way, but I can honestly say that the 10 years of our marriage I am most happy knowing that I can at any moment end up crying with a sore bottom over my husbands lap. Right now, you are in a state of intellectual intolerance that you try to justify by invoking science. Lots of the kids who bullied me until I cried in junior high were MALES. You all seem to be very sincere people, but you also seem to be very dangerous ones, because you have decided to be driven by ideology and intolerance. I told Jamin I saw marks on [redacted] neck and they appeared to have been caused by the end of fingers, possibly nails. He was suggesting that were all marching in lockstep with feminism, so I joked that we argue so much precisely because we agree on everything. Your inability to understand your counterpart speaks volume and certainly does not honour you. But I have come to believe that there was a form of CDD/DD in the days of the bible. Those who advocate domestic discipline do so on the basis of several passages taken out of context and wildly interpreted. Im also arguing that you continue to blow bullshit and try to make it sound like wisdom. Moreover, God created us in his image, and I dont see you can claim that beating the image of God is okay because its supposedly consensual. Oh brother, that was too obvious. He is the boss. These three core values are essential: Communication, Consent, & Compassion. The patriarchy guys, like whats his name, Doug Whats-It? . And should she submit and obey him if he asks someone else to punish her for something, including a spanking? Whats the problem with superior/inferior relationships? Spanking your wife because your tiny little denomination thinks thats holy? Rather he actually comes abusing by accusing. Its quite amazing that she had the strength to leave. Pastor then took over and showed Ben that I wouldnt break if I was spanked properly, and I got my first real spanking of my life. Your horrible handling of the Bible does not inspire confidence in me at all. Domestic Have they been able to escape and at what cost? http://cryingoutforjustice.com/resources/hotlines/. Just as our Lord washed the feet of His disciples, it wasnt to show that He was beneath them, but to show that real leadership serves. Regina, christianforums.net, 9. I have a dear friend in a marriage filled with Spiritual Abuse. Personal attacks are not. Webchristian domestic discipline; Corset Waist Training; Deep Thoughts; Exercise and Chocolate; Fiction; maintenance; marriage; my submissiveness; Orgasm Control; Pierced Nipples; Punishment; Spanking; Submission; swingers It should be private. At first Ben was not consistent, and didnt spank me nearly hard enough. I imagine the biggest thing other women might be experiencing is that embarrassment, demoralizing, and feeling very disempowered. THATS JUST WRONG! For better or worse, most states had laws restricting what was allowable between husband and wife in the bedroom. After we got home, I received the worst spanking I have ever received to this day! I had numerous discussions with people that wanted to begin or improve their Christian Domestic Discipline relationship. Your views are not applicable and do not work for women who are in poverty, who live in other nations, and who are never-married, widowed, infertile, divorced. Not commenting on the way you cherry pick Bible verses out of context to make them confirm what they do not even talk about. He teaches us that God made women because our husbands needed a obedient helpmate , God made women to serve and obey without question our husbands. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. I dont know if my Mom was ever spanked. The Bible does not support your kink. But she will heal in her own good time none of us can force that on her. Twosummers ago, I received a phone call from a pastor who shared his growing concern about wife-spanking in his family of churches. The one thing that surprised me was how happy all the married couples were. I have believed for many years that this is actually biblical, and the husband should spank his wife. He took off his belt, bent me over the counter, lifted up my skirt and proceeded to give me exactly what I deserved. Testimonials of Loving Domestic Discipline, The role of play in a Christian Domestic Discipline relationship. On the one hand, they are too arbitrary (why should the age of consent be 15 and not 16 or 22, or even 30 especially since you suggest that even adults can be tricked into domestic discipline. The best part of domestic discipline is what has happened emotionally between this long-time married couple. What kinds of reactions can he expect from his wife as he introduces this into his marriage and how should he respond to his wifes reactions? I find your style offensive. This 3. While social sciences are a useful tool, you perfectly demonstrate how they can be used as a convenient tool to outlaw deranging opinions and lifestyles by justifying the move by supposed facts. And the part of the body does not change it from abuse to discipline if you were to grab a stranger and hit him on the bottom, youd be up for assault charges. I am now 24 years old and my husband is 27. (also known as gender complementarianism, biblical womanhood, patriarchy) Continue reading. Maybe I shouldnt do this, but sometimes I resist giving input when asked. I dont believe Bill Gothard is a Christian, I think he is a sadistic man that worships himself and wants other people to worship him. Christian Domestic Discipline Spiritual Sounding Board 4000 kids a day get killed for being conceived in the wrong womb. I remember being mortified our wedding night and wanted to find something sexy that would make me feel good (and I thought he would like, too). When you mention being a submissive wife, peoples minds tend to go in either one direction or the other. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.